Some people just can't be friends. I have accepted this long ago and I honestly know that you know it's true too. Sometimes, people grow apart. It happens every day, it's the just the way things happen. Real friendship can withstand the distance and the quiet moments. Ours, obviously, could not and that is one of the many reasons why we can no longer be friends.
In the past, you have made me feel completely disgusting. I have been at the end of your rage-fueled fits and it's not nice. I have never had any human being make me feel like I was the lowest of the low... Until me and you fought. And it didn't matter how many times we made up. Every time we fought; every time you made me feel useless or not good enough, the wound grew and it continued to grow until last week. I was told to "not bother," with you anymore and I took it to heart. The moment I did ONE thing that didn't involve you, you flew off the handle and made me, once again, feel like I was the worst human being who ever lived. Is that the way it's supposed to be between friends?
You say that I make you feel unloved, unwanted and unappreciated. You say that in the past year, I have been distant. Let me ask this question to you: What would you do if someone made you feel like your relationship with your significant other was a joke, or made you feel like you weren't good enough at everything you tried to accomplish? My guess is that you would remove yourself from their presence and move on with your life. I may be wrong, but I am not a masochist. I value myself more than most give me credit for.
For seven years, I was by your side. I defended you. I stopped talking to people and took your side over the stupidest things because I truly thought me and you were close friends. I see now that I was wrong. I loved you and I firmly believe you did not. You talk to me about distance... But I have not received a message from you in almost a year. You talk about belittlement on my part, but I never did anything but defend myself against your vile words... It hurt then and it still hurts now.
I am not upset. I can honestly say that when you told me to not bother with you anymore, I was relieved because I could feel the weight of our friendship leaving. I could feel the need to walk on eggshells around you fade away and it felt damn good. Then you had to ruin it by cussing me out again... It's just the same old routine and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of all of it.
Please, don't ever speak to me again. Don't think about me. Don't ask my sister or mutual friends how I am. I no longer concern you. You and my sister may be friends but I no longer want anything to do with you. My feelings matter more to me than our friendship does because you are toxic to me, just like I am to you.
Have a nice life,
Cris.
