Interview with the Aspie

  I am a woman in a relationship. I've been with Robert for 6 years, and it's been a learning curve. As much as I know about him, there's a lot I still don't quite understand, especially when it comes to him as an "Aspie." For those that are unfamiliar with the term, an Aspie is someone who has Asperger's Syndrome. For this blog, I am interviewing him, learning what he feels about having Asperger's  while educating myself. :)

When did you get the feeling that you might have Aspergers?

Robert:  Never really did had that feeling until someone mentioned it to me; a professional, after I got diagnosed with adhd. This all happened after I got a huge burnout.

What was the initial reaction when you were finally diagnosed as an adult?

Robert:  Mostly relief. All my life I kinda knew I was different but was trying to be "normal" not knowing what was wrong with me and why I can't be like everyone else. Had trouble keeping jobs, making new friends etc. So after I got diagnosed with both adhd and later aspergers, it all fell into place.

Okay. So would you say that having Aspergers has helped your relationships with people, now that you understand what you have?

Robert:  Not really, but it helps to understand me why I have trouble with relationships with people, and I can explain it better to others.

 Do you find that people are more understanding when you explain it? 

Robert:  Often have to explain to them what aspergers is, but I am surprised to see that many people actually know what it is, and have someone close to them who has it too.

 What do you find is the best way of coping with having Aspergers?

Robert: Well....the best way with coping with it is to understand it. Know your strengths and weaknesses and most importantly, don't try to be someone you are not. I been on medications for both adhd and aspergers, but the side effects of those meds were worse than what they tried to cure.
ADHD and Aspergers is part of who I am, medication can't change who I am. I am now off of those meds for a while and figured out that eating the right food has much better influence on me mentally. Artificial food additives make me worse, just like we all know how sugar and sweets can kids go crazy, same thing happens inside my head if I eat those additives. My mind will just go crazy, up to a point where I just end up having a headache.

Do you have any rituals or obsessions that you do in order to get through every day life, such as a set schedule or a certain way of doing things?

Robert: Don't think i have. but then again, if i did it would be normal for me to do things like that, so it wouldn't look like a ritual or obsession to me.

Do you think that therapy has a helping hand in learning new social skills?

Robert: Therapy can learn your limitations and how to deal with them, so they become less of an disadvantage. But if it can learn new social skills,... to me, I never learned any new social skills from therapy. But some people might learn new social skills from therapy

Which situations do you find the most difficult to deal with? 

Robert: Unfamiliar situations, and situations where I become the center of attention for a bigger crowd.
Me: So parties and concerts, for instance?
Robert: kinda. it's more like giving a presentation, where everyone is focussed on you. I don't like big crowds to begin with, but you can be pretty invisible int hem if you want to. I'd rather sit in a dark corner, like Strider (Lord of The Rings), and observe.

Do you have certain sensitivities? Like to sound/light/touch, etc?

Robert:  I don't like strangers to touch me, or those who come too close when talking to me.
I am sensitive to bright light. What I really dislike is sudden loud noises, one of the main reasons why I don't like dogs, especially the barky ones.

What is the most important advice you could give to someone who was diagnosed with Aspergers

Robert:  Best advise I could give is let people you care about know you have it and what you struggle with and what you don't like, so they help you with that and keep it in mind. for instance, I don't like unannounced visits, so everyone close to me knows to call me 1st, so I know they are coming over and i can mentally prepare for it.
Also good to remember to not focus on what you can't do and what you are bad at. Focus on the things you are good at instead, stay positive.
We aspies can do great things. Albert Einstein was an aspie, Bill gates is an aspie, just to name a few.
So try to find a profession where you can use your strengths the fullest.

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Final Word

Robbie is, and always will be hard work. Lol. But he's worth the work. I have had to change my mindset a lot, and being with him has made me a more mature, open and honest person. I know that if I am upset, I can't just wait for him to guess, or be passive aggressive when I can just tell him. I let him know what is happening in advance, and realized that when he does the same, it actually eases my anxiety.
Being with an Aspie has made me grow up. I believe that, if I had dated someone else, I wouldn't understand things the way I do now. Being with him has benefited my life, and I couldn't be more thankful.