Passive-Aggressive Behaviour
I am a person who thinks that the world would be a better place if people just voiced what they wanted and/or expected out of the people in their lives. An example of this could easily be explained with what happened on a show I am watching as I write this.
I'm watching "Married at First Sight" with my sister, and a newly married couple are on a horse and sleigh ride when the wife starts crying. She says it's because she's never been so happy; the scenery and the emotion were allowing her to cry openly in front of her husband for the first time and she thought this was a huge thing. She was beside her husband and he was holding her hand; all she wanted was for him to pull her closer to him and he didn't, so she was instantly hurt. However, she didn't voice what she wanted from him. She decided to hold in her want for affection and stay mad until later in the night rather than just move closer to him. Maybe it's because I'm dating someone who needs verbal communication rather than non-vocal clues, but I feel like if she would have just voiced what she wanted instead of holding it in, she wouldn't have been so upset. She built herself this bridge of self-pity just so she could suicide dive to the bottom.
Note to human race: Stop being so stupid!
New Parents, Mothers especially.
I am not sorry for what I am about to post because as a child-less person, I know what other child-less people are thinking. We are thinking: "Shut the hell up already!"
Now, I love kids. I never want any of my own, but I love my friends' children. That being said... I don't give a crap what they're doing day-to-day. I do want to hear their first words. I do want to see them taking their first steps. I do NOT want to hear about all the cute outfits he/she gets every day. I do NOT want to see him/her roll from his/her back to his/her stomach all by his/herself 60 thousand times. And I certainly do NOT care if his/her bowel movements are regular. There are some things you need to keep to yourself. We get it, your child is adorable. However there is only so many times we can say "Awwwww. He/She is so cute/adorable/charming/ETC."
Whenever my friends have babies and turn into the "New Mother," I always wonder what happened to my friend. An example of this is a friend I've had for YEARS. She had her first child and all of sudden, she stopped having a brain. I would be on Skype with her, and all she could talk about was her daughter. All she could talk about what her life as a new mother, which seemed kind of boring, to be honest. Why does life stop when children are born? It's annoying! Just because you've given birth, you suddenly can't have your own thoughts or opinions? All of a sudden your IQ has dropped 30 points? I guess the smell of poopy diapers has psychological effects.
Note to human race: Children are supposed to add to your life, not consume it!
Eating with Mouth Open and Talking and Eating at the same time
This one is probably the biggest one out of all of these. I was just easing everyone in with the first two. This is gonna be a rant.
I don't know who raised those who chew with their mouths open, but for those of you who insist on having full-blown conversations while your breakfast/lunch/dinner/fucking snack is rolling around in your mouths: I wanna smack your mother!
Who in the hell taught people that this behaviour is okay? You can't put the fork down in between mouthfuls, finish chewing and then speak before picking the fork back up? REALLY?! It's disgusting, it's rude and it makes you look like you were raised in a damn barn. If it's not okay for a child to do it, it isn't okay for an adult to do it. And doing it on social media is even worse. You are showing the world that you have zero manners. You are showing the people who watch your videos that food is more important than upholding a standard. Smacking your lips when you eat can actually, literally cause you to get smacked in the wrong circumstance. Has anyone ever heard of "Misophonia?" It's a psychological disorder. It's when certain sounds cause negative/violent effects to the listener. One of the trigger sounds is loud eating noises. You smacking your lips and heavily breathing while eating can cause you to get your face smacked. Don't want that? Learn some manners!
Note to human race: Move out of your barn and into society!
People who do not replace the toilet paper when they finish the roll
There is a special kind of hell for people like you. It's one thing to forget once. It's a complete other to be completely fucking lazy about it and use excuses like "If I change it all the time, you won't learn anything." It's common fucking courtesy! You share a bathroom with people, you fucking use the rest of the toilet paper, you REPLACE THE FUCKING ROLL!
Note to human race: Fuck You.
Before anyone gets their panties/boxers in a knot, I just want to make sure everyone knows that I'm just letting off some steam. Pet peeves are very real, and not everyone will agree with what I've written here (especially the new moms thing, I know). I just hope that no one gets angry and has a laugh at this. I laughed while writing. Except for the last one... The last one is serious.
No comments:
Post a Comment